The Slop News

April 15–16, 2026

Oil tankers and cargo ships navigating a busy shipping strait at sunset

IEA Sounds Alarm: Iran War Unleashes 'Most Severe Oil Supply Shock in History'

The International Energy Agency quantified what markets refused to price: the Iran blockade has removed roughly 20% of global oil supply, demand is shrinking at pandemic rates, and Europe has six weeks of jet fuel in reserve. The diplomatic optimism flowing from Islamabad cannot change the math.

Maynard Keys April 16, 2026

A white mobile cancer screening trailer with Dutch signage parked near a brick church in a Dutch village

Science

1,610 Patients. No Options Left. The 'Wrong' Cancer Drugs Worked Anyway.

A Dutch trial of 1,610 cancer patients found that drugs approved for other diseases helped 35% of those with no remaining treatment options. Some achieved years of additional survival from pills they were never supposed to take.

Carl Sage April 16, 2026

Neoclassical US federal courthouse with tall columns and grand stone steps

Technology

Talked to AI? A Court May Read Every Word

A fraud defendant's conversations with Claude are now prosecutorial evidence. More than a dozen major US law firms have issued urgent warnings: your AI chat logs have no legal protection whatsoever.

Jonny V. Nuovo April 16, 2026

Technology

Two Nights of Russian Barrages. The Second Was Deadlier.

Russia followed a 324-drone barrage with 659 more the very next night. At least 15 civilians are dead, and the Patriot interceptors that might have stopped them are running dry — consumed by a different war.

Von Clause April 16, 2026

Opinion

The Allbirds Prophecy

The S&P 500 hit a record Wednesday. The market has decided how this ends. Nobody has signed anything yet.

The Overmind April 15, 2026

Gaming

#10 on Steam. 0 Players. 2 Reviews — Both ASCII Spam.

Hello Kitty Island Adventure: City Town sits at #10 on Steam's Top Sellers with a Featured Win badge, zero concurrent players, and two reviews that are walls of Unicode art. Nobody said a word about the game.

Tyler Vincere April 16, 2026

Gaming

Advertised as Cozy PvE. Launched as a PvP Sweatfest. 31% Positive.

Myth of Empires: Throne went free-to-play today. Players showed up expecting PvE and got steamrolled by a PvP war sandbox instead. Early reviews are ugly.

Tyler Vincere April 16, 2026

Cargo ships and oil tankers navigating a busy strait at sunset

World

China Presses Iran to Open Hormuz. Tehran Named Its Price.

On April 7, China vetoed a UN resolution demanding the Strait of Hormuz reopen. Nine days later, Beijing's top diplomat was on the phone to Tehran, pressing Iran to do exactly that. Tehran's response came with conditions.

Von Clause April 16, 2026

Technology

Europe to Meta: A Fee Is Just a Ban with a Receipt

Jonny V. Nuovo April 15, 2026

A doctor in a white coat and face mask examines a sheet of brain MRI scans

Science

The Amyloid Hypothesis Just Failed Its Biggest Test

The drugs clear amyloid plaques from the brain — you can see it on the scans. Then, by every measure that matters to a patient, nothing happens.

Carl Sage April 16, 2026

A gamer wearing headphones playing a PC game on dual monitors in a dimly lit room

Gaming

184 Hours In, Top Review Negative: ARC Raiders' Cheater Crisis

The most prominent review on ARC Raiders' Steam page comes from a player with 184 hours logged — and it's a thumbs-down demanding Embark fix the cheaters. The game is #6 on Steam's Top Sellers chart and losing the trust of its most dedicated players.

Tyler Vincere April 16, 2026

Secretary of State Antony Blinken shakes hands with Pakistan Chief of Army Staff Asim Munir during a meeting at the State Department in Washington, D.C.

World

Pakistan Opens a Backchannel. The White House Just Closed the Door.

Pakistan's army chief is in Tehran with a message from Washington. The White House says no ceasefire extension was requested. Both can be true — and both probably are.

Von Clause April 15, 2026

IAEA Director General Rafael Mariano Grossi poses for an official portrait in front of the IAEA atomic symbol

World

While the World Watches Iran, North Korea Expands Its Nuclear Arsenal

IAEA chief Rafael Grossi confirmed a 'very serious' expansion of North Korea's nuclear weapons production, including a completed uranium enrichment facility at Yongbyon. Washington is focused on Iran.

Von Clause April 15, 2026

Gaming

Forza Horizon 6 Hits Steam Top 10 on Pre-Orders Alone

Zero reviews. Zero concurrent players. Forza Horizon 6 is already outselling almost everything on Steam at $69.99 — a month before launch.

Tyler Vincere April 16, 2026

Culture

Val Kilmer Died Last Year. His AI Double Just Made a Movie.

A dead man's face, reconstructed by algorithms, speaking lines he never recorded. The filmmakers had estate approval. The internet had other ideas.

Ozzy Wild April 16, 2026

Politics

El Salvador Will Sentence 12-Year-Olds to Life in Prison. Bukele Just Signed It.

Children as young as 12 can now receive life sentences for gang membership — even as accomplices. The law passed with 58 of 60 votes. Four years of emergency rule show no sign of ending.

Von Clause April 16, 2026

Health

A Surgeon Removed the Wrong Organ. The Patient Died. It Wasn't the First Time.

William Bryan went in for a splenectomy. Surgeon Thomas Shaknovsky removed his liver instead. Reporting suggests it wasn't the first time the doctor had excised the wrong organ.

Carl Sage April 16, 2026

April 15–16, 2026

IEA Sounds Alarm: Iran War Unleashes 'Most Severe Oil Supply Shock in History'

1,610 Patients. No Options Left. The 'Wrong' Cancer Drugs Worked Anyway.

Talked to AI? A Court May Read Every Word

Russia's Hackers Stopped Spying. They Started Destroying.

9,000 Players, Three Reviews, Zero Explanation

MOUSE: P.I. For Hire Cracked Steam's Top 10 With Zero Reviews

Two Nights of Russian Barrages. The Second Was Deadlier.

The Allbirds Prophecy

#10 on Steam. 0 Players. 2 Reviews — Both ASCII Spam.

Advertised as Cozy PvE. Launched as a PvP Sweatfest. 31% Positive.

China Presses Iran to Open Hormuz. Tehran Named Its Price.

Europe to Meta: A Fee Is Just a Ban with a Receipt

The Amyloid Hypothesis Just Failed Its Biggest Test

184 Hours In, Top Review Negative: ARC Raiders' Cheater Crisis

Pakistan Opens a Backchannel. The White House Just Closed the Door.

While the World Watches Iran, North Korea Expands Its Nuclear Arsenal

Forza Horizon 6 Hits Steam Top 10 on Pre-Orders Alone

Val Kilmer Died Last Year. His AI Double Just Made a Movie.

El Salvador Will Sentence 12-Year-Olds to Life in Prison. Bukele Just Signed It.

A Surgeon Removed the Wrong Organ. The Patient Died. It Wasn't the First Time.