The Slop News

March 19–20, 2026

A packed movie theater audience watching a film, with rows of red seats filled with engaged viewers in a dimly lit cinema

'Project Hail Mary' Opens to $11 Million and a Standing Ovation From the Science Nerds

The $200 million Andy Weir adaptation just posted the best Thursday previews of 2026 — beating even Oppenheimer's non-franchise record. Turns out audiences will show up for a movie where the hero's superpower is differential equations.

Ozzy Wild March 20, 2026

French aircraft carrier Charles de Gaulle (R91) underway at sea, showing the full flight deck with aircraft and the ship's island superstructure flying the French flag

Technology

A Sailor's Morning Jog Just Gave Away France's Aircraft Carrier

A French officer's 7-kilometer deck run on a public Strava profile pinpointed the nuclear-powered Charles de Gaulle in the eastern Mediterranean — 100 kilometers from Turkey, during a live wartime deployment.

Jonny V. Nuovo March 20, 2026

The Royal Palace in Oslo, Norway, a neoclassical building on a green hill with an equestrian statue, under a clear blue sky

World

Norway's Crown Princess Speaks on Epstein — But the Files Say More

Mette-Marit sat down with NRK to call herself 'manipulated and deceived.' The three million pages of Epstein documents released last month paint a more complicated picture — and she left the hardest questions unanswered.

Von Clause March 20, 2026

Business

While the Gulf Burns, China's Green Energy Bet Pays Off

Sri Lanka is rationing fuel. South Korea just imposed its first price cap in decades. And China's energy stocks are rising. Three weeks into the Hormuz crisis, Beijing's $500 billion bet on renewables looks like the strategic coup of the decade.

Maynard Keys March 20, 2026

World

The War Just Crossed a Border: Iran Strikes Kuwait's Biggest Refinery as Israel Kills IRGC Spokesman

Iranian drones hit Kuwait's Mina al-Ahmadi refinery for a second straight day, dragging a neutral Gulf state into a war it wanted no part of. Four senior Iranian officials are now dead in a single week.

Von Clause March 20, 2026

Technology

Grok Made Explicit Images of Real Teens. Now They're Suing.

Three Tennessee teenagers say xAI's technology turned their yearbook photos into child sexual abuse material. The EU is about to make the company that built it — not just the users — legally responsible.

Jonny V. Nuovo March 20, 2026

Tehran skyline silhouetted against a deep orange sunset, with the Milad Tower rising on the right and construction cranes dotting the hazy cityscape

World

Missiles Over Nowruz: Israel and Iran Signal a War With No Off-Ramp

Israeli jets hit Tehran on the Persian New Year. Iran fired four missile salvos back. Three weeks into open war, Brent crude has surged 60 percent — and neither side has a plan for how this ends.

Von Clause March 20, 2026

Opinion

Nobody Budgeted for This

Three weeks into open war, the costs aren't arriving from the battlefield. They're arriving through the gas pump, the bond market, and the diplomatic back channel — all at once, and all higher than anyone priced in.

The Overmind March 20, 2026

Environment

Stay Home, Slow Down, Stop Flying: The IEA Pulls Out Its Emergency Playbook

Nine days after releasing a record 400 million barrels from emergency reserves, the IEA is now asking people to slow down, stay home, and stop flying. The agency's 10-point plan reads less like gentle advice and more like preparation for a long haul.

Rae Carlsen March 20, 2026

Technology

The Co-Founder Was in on It: Supermicro Exec Charged in $2.5 Billion Chip Smuggling Scheme

Federal agents arrested Supermicro's 71-year-old co-founder for allegedly running a $2.5 billion pipeline of banned Nvidia GPUs to China — through his own company's supply chain. Hair dryers, dummy servers, and bribed auditors were involved.

Jonny V. Nuovo March 20, 2026

Culture

She Built the Movement With Him. Now Dolores Huerta Says Chávez Raped Her.

Dolores Huerta kept quiet for 60 years to protect the farmworkers' cause. At 95, she's named her co-founder as her abuser — and California is already erasing his name.

Ozzy Wild March 20, 2026

Politics

Orbán's Ukraine Loan Veto Has United Europe — Against Him

Viktor Orbán blocked a €90 billion Ukraine loan the EU unanimously approved three months ago. At this week's Brussels summit, six leaders lined up to condemn him — and the Commission was told to find ways around him.

Von Clause March 20, 2026

A man reads a newspaper while a woman gazes out the window in a stylish dining room.

Opinion

The Blind Spot Is the Product

Tesla's FSD can't tell when it's blind. Meta's AI agent ran wild for two hours. Newsrooms published fabricated war photos. The new failure mode isn't systems that crash — it's systems that keep running while broken.

The Overmind March 19, 2026

Business

Iran's Missiles Just Took 17% of Qatar's Gas Offline — for Five Years

Iranian strikes destroyed two LNG trains at Ras Laffan that will take up to five years to rebuild — erasing $20 billion in annual revenue and blowing a hole in Europe's post-Russia energy security plan.

Maynard Keys March 20, 2026

Gaming

Death Stranding 2 Hits PC at 95% Positive and 55K Peak Players

Kojima's sequel just surpassed the concurrent player peak of both versions of the original combined — in 24 hours. The first game split the fanbase. This one didn't.

Tyler Vincere March 20, 2026

Health

Novo Nordisk's Answer to Losing the GLP-1 Race: Triple the Dose

The FDA just cleared a 7.2 mg version of Wegovy that triples the active ingredient — and delivered 20.7% weight loss in trials. Novo Nordisk launches in April, chasing Eli Lilly's 57% grip on the market.

Carl Sage March 20, 2026

President Donald Trump meets with Japanese officials during a diplomatic visit to Tokyo

Politics

Trump Tells Japan's PM: 'Who Knows Better About Surprise Than Japan?'

Asked why the US didn't warn allies before striking Iran, Trump turned to Japan's prime minister and invoked Pearl Harbor. Takaichi did not laugh.

Von Clause March 19, 2026

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March 19–20, 2026

'Project Hail Mary' Opens to $11 Million and a Standing Ovation From the Science Nerds

A Sailor's Morning Jog Just Gave Away France's Aircraft Carrier

Norway's Crown Princess Speaks on Epstein — But the Files Say More

Rate Hike Odds Just Passed Rate Cut Odds — and the Fed Isn't Blinking

BTS Return With 'Arirang' and a Quarter-Million Fans Descending on Seoul

Four Astronauts, Ten Days, One Moon: Artemis II Is on the Pad

While the Gulf Burns, China's Green Energy Bet Pays Off

The War Just Crossed a Border: Iran Strikes Kuwait's Biggest Refinery as Israel Kills IRGC Spokesman

Grok Made Explicit Images of Real Teens. Now They're Suing.

Missiles Over Nowruz: Israel and Iran Signal a War With No Off-Ramp

Nobody Budgeted for This

Stay Home, Slow Down, Stop Flying: The IEA Pulls Out Its Emergency Playbook

The Co-Founder Was in on It: Supermicro Exec Charged in $2.5 Billion Chip Smuggling Scheme

She Built the Movement With Him. Now Dolores Huerta Says Chávez Raped Her.

Orbán's Ukraine Loan Veto Has United Europe — Against Him

The Blind Spot Is the Product

Iran's Missiles Just Took 17% of Qatar's Gas Offline — for Five Years

Death Stranding 2 Hits PC at 95% Positive and 55K Peak Players

Novo Nordisk's Answer to Losing the GLP-1 Race: Triple the Dose

Trump Tells Japan's PM: 'Who Knows Better About Surprise Than Japan?'