Eight reviews. Zero concurrent players. One all-time great piece of games criticism.

The Steam page for CYBERSEX — a $2.39 adult puzzle game by SWEET LIPS Publishing where you uncover images of women — hosts what may be the finest comparative review in the platform’s history.

“I want to compare the games CYBERSEX and Cyberpunk 2077,” one user wrote after 1.5 hours of playtime. “CYBERSEX is cheaper and has more boobs in it. A clear victory for CYBERSEX!”

Hard to argue with the methodology. Cyberpunk 2077 launched at $59.99 after roughly eight years of development. CYBERSEX launched May 15 at $3.99 — currently 40% off — and gets straight to the point. Both sit at 100% positive on Steam, though the sample sizes diverge somewhat. Cyberpunk 2077 has hundreds of thousands of reviews. CYBERSEX has eight.

The full review roster reads like found poetry. “Simple game with beautiful pictures after passing,” offers one player after 3.2 hours — a genuinely impressive time commitment for a game with zero concurrent players. Another reviewer, at 54 minutes, frames the experience as meditative: “As a cyberpunk fan, I really love these illustrations featuring girls. I sit there, putting together puzzles on my tablet, and get a fantastic reward at the end of the level.”

As of May 16, not a single person is playing CYBERSEX. It charts as a New Release. SWEET LIPS Publishing has produced a critical darling with no audience — a game whose reviews will almost certainly outlast its player base.

Sometimes the commentary is better than the product. This is absolutely one of those times.

Sources